Loved and Lost

Words that are so frequently quoted that I fear that people no longer stop to think it through before they just simply agree... 

It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.

I don’t know what was going through the mind of Tennyson when he wrote that. I don’t know the context of that phrase. Or if he meant it. Or if he was speaking only for himself; or for the whole of humanity.

It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.

I disagree. For to love, is to hurt. And I don't like pain. You may try to argue with me, but believe me, all loves hurt, if only when the object of that love leaves, or dies, or in any other way ends.  But love will continue on - except maybe for the lucky ones, where it was the love and not the object that died, but then... can that really be called love? - it will stubbornly continue to make life difficult, and sometimes downright miserable. How can it be better to live with pain, when the other choice is: never feel the joy that causes the pain.

It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.

Even temporary separation hurts, only when you are with someone you love are you likely to feel the happiness.

On the other hand, perhaps "better" is not something for me to decide or understand. Maybe there is something to be gained that I have not discovered... 

I wouldn't give up love now that I have it, but I think I would rather never to felt it at all. For without love, there is no pain, no fear. 

But is a painless life worth living?

Is a love-filled life worth hurting over?

Do I love? Yes. I love a lot of people. And I don't love halfheartedly... so perhaps that is why it hurts. Perhaps that is why I'm scared. Scared of "loved and lost". Scared of being the only one to fall. Scared of being the last one to lose. 






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