Born This Way

This may be news to some of you, or maybe you already know, but back in April - in honor of my 18th birthday - I officially "came out" though I had been more privately "out" for a while now.

And since June is Pride Month, what better time to write a post about it!

I AM AN ASEXUAL PANROMANTIC!!!!! And I couldn't be happier about it! AND a much more recent discovery revealed that I'm also Genderfluid!

Asexual, Meaning:

•  I do not feel sexual attraction.

Panromantic, Meaning: 

• I can feel romantic attraction to any and all genders.

Genderfluid, Meaning

• My gender identity (not to be confused with gender expression) shifts and flows between 'female,' 'neutral,' and 'male.' So, for example: Yesterday I was female, but a few days ago I was male, and today I'm more in the middle.

There is a type of peace that comes with learning something about yourself, and knowing how to accept it. For a long time I didn't know how to reconcile all this with my faith. But why would a God that says ALL Love is pure and perfect and good, stop and say "but not that Love." 
When I accepted the idea that being something other than "straight" was not a sin, I immediately felt a peace and happiness wash over me that I had never felt before. And a few months after that, I realized that I'm Asexual and Panromantic. It took me much longer to realize my Genderfluidity, and a lot had to happen for me to see it, including:

1. As a child I would fluctuate between tomboy and girly-girl (forms of expression that aren't necessarily linked to gender identity)
2. When planning outfits in my head I would sometimes accidentally envision myself as a guy, but not realize it for a few minutes
3. The fact that I was more comfortable in the guys dressing room, during some shows, and the girls during others.
4. knowing that I still sometimes 100% identify as female, while other times not.
5. when this exchange happened:

Person 1 - "Oh no, I almost broke a nail," runs to take care of the issue

Person 2 - "I'm so glad I'm not a woman right now,"  

Me - "Same here. oh wait..."

SO YEAH! This journey has been wild and terrifying. Terrifying, because of the possible backlash, and wild because it's so not at all who I used to think that I would become. But like I said, I couldn't be happier with who I am!