So... Very... Tired... part... 2...

I'm super tired. I just pulled an all-nighter, and I am actually having trouble typing due to the fact that I'm barely able to move. My head is uncontrollably bobbing around, and my limbs feel sorta numb... and I have class all day today! *sarcastic voice* This will be fun!

I just hope I survive.

Seriously y'all. Don't be me. Don't do something crazy exhausting for two years without a break and then top school on as well. I might not make it, but at least you can learn from my mistakes! Not-jokes aside, I have really enjoyed most of the last two years, but there are definitely moments when I wish I hadn't been so overzealous. I'm dead tired.

If I survive, you'll hear from me again! ...eventually...

Good day!

20 questions that will reveal my true self?

Here are 20 questions that will reveal my true self...?

I got this list from Power of Positivity

Self discovery is something that I guess you could say I'm obsessed with. I want/need to know who I am, in order to truly be me...

that might not have made sense...

This list is going to involve me being very vulnerable, but if that's what it takes then I'll do it. So please respect and understand that this may reveal sides of me that you hadn't seen before.


Let's dive right in shall we?

20 QUESTIONS TO ASK SOMEONE THAT WILL 

REVEAL THEIR TRUE SELF

1. What’s your life motto, or philosophy you live by? 

I am a bit like Sally Brown, finding new philosophies by the day.

Some of them are:

• Do no harm, take no s***
• Everything happens for a reason
• Don't cry over spilled milk, but if you cry don't feel bad about the tears
• Don't let anyone control you
• Never be ashamed of who you are - unless you are harming others.

2. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

Well to be honest... I don't particularly like myself... but... I guess... maybe the way my voice sounds when I sing Evanescence songs. 

3. Do you follow a religion or spiritual practice?

I'm a Christian

4. What was the best time of your life?

i don't know. 

5. What was the worst thing that ever happened to you?

well... this one is kinda hard. I lived under abuse from my dad for 15 years. so it's kinda hard to pick one thing. but i think it would be when my family had to leave the church that was my whole world. all my friends went there and it was where i felt at home. in an instant everything that mattered most to me was torn away - because of my dad's actions during the church service that morning - and i don't think i'll ever fully recover from that. 

6. What’s your biggest dream?

Being known for my acting

7. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

a doctor, or beautician, or an astronomer, or a deep sea marine biologist, or a herbal botanist, or a writer, or an actor.

8. What was/is your biggest accomplishment?

Playing Ariel in The Little Mermaid jr. / surviving 

9. Why do you think we’re all here?

that is an excellent question

10. What was your best relationship?

If this is about romantic relationships I have nothing to say there, because I've never been in one. But I have a lot of friendships that mean the world to me. 

11. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

Make love stronger

12. Do you like your job? If not, what would you like to do instead?

I currently don't have a job. I need to get one...

13. What are your favorite hobbies?

hobbies... drawing and reading

14. If money was no object, what would you do in life?

I would travel the world. I would help my community theatre grow. I would go see broadway shows and other big productions. I would buy a house in Southern California. I would eat how I want to. I would live in NYC and audition for shows for a while. I would make, buy, and support art

15. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

I doubt it. I really don't think that I have that power.

16. What are you thankful for?

My friends. Without them, I probably wouldn't still be here.

17. What do you wish people understood more about you?

Well... kinda everything... that I'm a wildly varied person. That I feel very deeply and feel everyone's pain. That I have depression and anxiety, and just because I can hide it most of the time doesn't mean that it isn't severe. That I'm an asexual, and that it's not "just a phase."

18. If you could turn back time and do anything differently, would you?

There is one thing I did a couple months ago that I might change... but it's too personal to go into details... no... I said I'd be vulnerable... I told my crush that I liked him. I think I might want to go back and take back my words. Because of the confusion and pain and vulnerability and heartache that followed. However... it's really best not to want to change anything. Just learn how to deal with and make the most of the consequences. I mean, everyone has someone break their heart at some point. Though I've been broken-hearted before, this was the first time that it was in this situation. But anyway, I usually live by the philosophy that everything happens for a reason, and it's not something to try and change.

19. What’s the craziest, or most exciting thing you’ve ever done?

Heh, my life hasn't had a lot of crazy exciting things, so I guess the answer is riding roller-coasters. I love roller-coasters! And they definitely get my adrenaline going.

20. What do you think about most often?

I'm not sure that there is just one thing... I think about a lot... life and death... what show is coming next... how much work I'm behind on... how I'm a burden to everyone... how much I want to play various roles... how people don't understand asexuality... how much I love my friends, and how I might very well be dead without them... I guess my friends are what occupy my thoughts the most.

____________


Well... that was interesting for me. It got me thinking about a lot.

Did you learn anything new about me? Or about yourself? Tell me what you think! If you write a post, filling this out for yourself, put a link in the comments! I'd love to learn about you.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

...so...very...tired...

Well ladies and gents, I completely failed in keeping up the October challenge, due to being crazy busy and exhausted. I was in a production of Sweeney Todd, and my college dance concert, and I am now in a Christmas talent showcase of sorts.

Sweeney Todd went very well, and was a lot of fun! Sondheim is a musical genius. I made new friends! One cast member - how was also in charge of set changes - got his hand smashed on the second to last performance, I was his second in command, so I then had to take charge to make sure everything happened and all his moves got covered. But it was all good in the end! His hand is recovering, and i got experience in on the spot problem solving.

The dance show also went well, and I have two very bruised knees to show for it!

October was also a month in which I was very depressed a lot, which made everything even harder to do.

So I apologize for disappearing yet again. I am starting to come to grips with that just being how I am. I will work on it. But for now, I'm a frequently AWOL blogger.

Goodnight all! I will try to have another post up soon!