Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Dear Self (#1)

Dear Self,
Today was a good day and here’s why:
You didn't have a panic attack.
You didn't have a bad depressive episode.
The weather was pleasant, and comfortable.
You and your scene partner did well in Acting class.
You spent some time with a good friend.
You did well in Drawing, and were given praise for it.
You had good interactions with people.
You were open about yourself.
You ate meals.
And you did well in remembering that these things matter to you and therefore they matter.
~ Fondly For The Possibly First Time, Your Self

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Floating Away

I’ve spent a lot of time recently, feeling like I’m barely holding myself together. I feel as though my mind is trying to float away from my body, leaving it with only the basic functions. And then while I’m in that helpless state, people need to ask me questions, and I have to complete tasks… but because I’m not all there, I feel that I’m rather inadequate.  



google search result






Monday, January 8, 2018

To Read And Relate

"It's so weird, to know you're crazy and not be able to do anything about it, you know? It's not like you believe yourself to be normal. You know there is a problem. But you can't figure a way through to fixing it." ~ Turtles All The Way Down 




Words are powerful. Language is incredible.

We have it so that we can communicate with one another, and we can share thoughts, feelings, and experiences. And sometimes, when you share, someone else will hear/read and in so doing they discover something in common. And as mostly social creatures, humans like to find the 'shared' the 'commonalities' and the 'same here-s'. We don't like to feel alone.

I feel alone more often than not. And that can get very difficult to deal with. So when I find something - real or fiction - that I can relate to, I get flooded with feelings of gratitude; knowing someone understands. And right now, I relate to the main character Aza from John Green's latest book "Turtles All The Way Down"

I'm still reading the book, I haven't reached the ending, but so far, the book is amazing in how much of me I found in Aza. Her struggles are much like mine, and her thoughts are ones I've had. I relate to her so much that it hurts. And to be honest, I've been slow in reading it, because sometimes the panic she feels reaches me and I can't keep reading. But that's okay. It means that I'm not alone. And I am extremely grateful to John Green. "Turtles" is a book that has become very special to me, and I think it always will be.

I highly recommend it to anyone with mental health issues, because it's helping me, and I hope it would help you too.