Reading and Saying Goodbye

I love to read. But I don't like finishing a book or series, because it hurts, and it's like saying goodbye.

I just finished reading the Manga "Ouran High School Host Club". I fell in love with the characters and I've watched them go through so much. And now, I'm saying farewell to a part of them, and a part of me. I love them SO MUCH.
My only consolation is that they might visit me in my head and heart.


I've never "liked" saying goodbye . But I always want to. Because one day, I'm going to see someone for the last time. And I don't want to let them go without a final parting - even though I won't know when it is.
Other people may go the other way and choose not to say goodbye, but I can't do that.

I struggle with telling people how much they mean to me; for me, saying goodbye - to my friends - giving and receiving a hug or just a smile... it's kind of a way of saying, "I don't want to lose you,"
I was very young when I realized the frailty of life. And when I did, it hurt... I think it changed me... I got scared... because one thing I do know, is that I love hard, which means that I can't bear the thought of living without my friends.
I actually wanted to die young so that I wouldn't have to go through the pain of someone going before me. I might still desire it.

So anyway... these are my thoughts... and I'm actually crying right now...